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After

by Doe Paoro

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1.
Traveling 03:51
Silence can be so loud it’s abrasive I’d look forward to home if I had one waiting Been traveling so long, so long, so long been traveling so long, so long, so long If I’m self pitying, not my intent Just trying to make sense of how I got so deep in so long, so long, so long I wanted solitude and that’s what I got Now I’m a living island with only one Thought: maybe I was wrong Lost the original point I’m unknowing Too scared to stop, so I keep on going Been traveling so long, so long, so long been traveling so long, so long, so long Mystified by my designs Can we ever see anything from the inside so long, so long, so long I wanted solitude and that’s what I got Now I’m a living island with only one Thought: maybe I was wrong so long, so long, so long
2.
If you’re speaking to me as though I’m not in the room: You’re not either All these patterns from your past I’m here under false pretense, as a witness to your monologue, when I could be anyone - You’d still be stuck in your story I wish you could see Your history is chaining you We could let go and never lose Nostalgia is killing us I am a body in space, slipping in and out of doors, nothing more I once lost years of my life Searching through day and night For a form that shifted shape a hundred times The key can’t be retracing my memory - I’d still be stuck in my story I wish you could see Your history is chaining you We could let go and never lose Nostalgia is killing us No use in going through old pain, it will come again The one before won’t be the last, of course We’ll love again
3.
Growth/Decay 03:14
Sleeping in my heart, there was a seed Waiting on the rain to flow Buried by these hands, too deep to freeze Waiting on the sun to show Carried by the wind, the wind it lifted Carried like a holy scream Grew a thousand leaves, bore fruit, now I see: Eden was inside of me Change, you see, it only goes one way Cycle to the light or fade away Maybe I can find out one day Why I had to grow to face decay Witness to my own tragedy Watching all the petals fall Powerless, I bowed and gave up my crown I lost it all I lost it all Change, you see, it only goes one way Cycle to the light or fade away Maybe I can find out one day Why I had to grow to face decay I fell in love to watch it fall away
4.
Been told a thousand times We’re making plans While all the gods Laugh on Still I can’t kick my pride Thinking there’s something I could have done Somewhere off there’s an abstract door opening I know I know I know Even though it was never about me, hard not to take it personal Am I so oblivious To have thought that you were serious And now you’re asking me what’s fair What’s fair Just to change the story Long since you been here You’re asking me what’s fair What’s fair What’s that ever had to do Now thats something just for you //I won’t indulge in hypotheticals I won’t indulge in hypotheticals But go on asking if it makes you feel better// I’ve made the call to look ahead Been cracking the reigns on my imagination cause Looking for answers inside your head was leading me Down into some Dark places Guess there’s peace in cause and effect I know I know I know Well aware that nothing lasts forever, hard not to take it personal Am I so oblivious To have thought that you were serious And now you’re asking me what’s fair What’s fair Just to change the story Long since you been here You’re asking me what’s fair What’s fair What’s that ever had to do Now thats something just for you //Been written, done wishing So don’t come at me now that you’re missing out// //I won’t indulge in hypotheticals I won’t indulge in hypotheticals But go on asking if it makes you feel better//
5.
Outlines 03:06
No more driving By Nevada it’d all come undone Sun is sliding down the back of the myth that you’d be the one I’m done trying Mustering a love for you that I could never show to myself Mustering a love for you that I could never show to myself But I have a new love In your shadow I have a new love It ain’t hedging on anyone’s changing, no (whatever make you high, take you to the bottom) When you find kindness suspicious: Gonna be a long road to unlearning It isn’t love if it’s burning For at its highest she’s a healer I was too blind to see I have a new love In your shadow I have a new love I have a new love It ain’t hedging on anyone’s changing
6.
Strange river rolling Moved as if pushed by greed Cigarette ash falling from the sky Why you gotta be so mean Dead at the roots No earth to cling to The trees take off their clothes as they lay down on the road I’m thinking about a friend back home Moved here to be closer I had to sink to see: What bribes the wholesome to trade in vitality I can’t find no eyes to lock with mine No way we could thrive when the city is dying Dogs bark in tunnels The shadows have gone to sleep Ink on the walls ink on the arms Walking Backwards through my father’s dream The seeds all twisted Myth of fertility The color is all gone with the birds for a new sun What will become of me Moved here to be closer I had to sink to see: What bribes the wholesome to trade in vitality //I can’t find no eyes to lock with mine No way we could thrive when the city is dying// //Taking slow paling breaths And my body’s a mess //
7.
Untethered 03:40
I dreamed last night about the loss of gravity Buildings flew overhead while you slipped in a booth across from me Even in sleep it’s still so heavy Your visit leaves me with eyes wet Don’t doubt it, cause I could never forget No matter the time, you haven’t made Is it easy to leave It’s been hard here to stay But I guess you were too good to be in this game I guess you were too good to be in this game Future: you have ideas You cut through everything Through the freeze of a winter In my rearview mirror watching me Even in sleep it’s still so heavy Your visit leaves me with eyes wet Don’t doubt it cause I could never forget No matter the time, you haven’t made Is it easy to leave It’s been hard here to stay But I guess you were too good to be in this game I guess you were too good to be in this game Flirter of fate, made us so naive All these careless promises I’ll be the one to keep
8.
Nobody 03:05
Lately been thinking I might cut outta town Lost in the waiting Man dragging me down No mistaking I ain’t running to hide No shame i’m claiming Just need space from this side Smothered by outside opinion Why am I bothering even listening Nobody understands Council has spoken Say it’s never gonna work But my minds open Someone’s gotta be the first No mistaking To consider what’s practical in love Just seems besides the point Smothered by outside opinion Why am I bothering even listening Nobody understands Won’t let up I won’t let up Only the heart decides the plans
9.
Regret 03:05
I came to Palenque to mourn my stillborn dream Please let it breathe Step in a dried-up stream All these broken reeds I can’t seem to learn Can’t seem to be sure Oh, the heavy threat Could I have been better than? Now all I’m left with is my regret Now I’m in love with my regret, my regret All I was told All the ways I followed: Wasted, misplaced I’m gone. Listen to me but my voice can’t call out I can’t seem to learn Can’t seem to be sure Oh, the heavy threat Could I have been better than? Now all I’m left with is my regret Oh, the heavy threat Could I have been better than? Now I’m in love with my regret my regret my regret my regret Oh, the heavy threat
10.
Love has brought me down To the edge of myself as I knew it Cross the border to the other side So I could see through another’s eyes I won’t stop till the end, no Gonna keep moving till I can … I wanna lose there I wanna lose there Sadness took me far Searching for the salve to put on my scars Best teacher that I have ever had For the depths of joy I now understand I won’t stop till the end, no Gonna keep moving till I can ///Wake up in nowhere So beautiful I wanna lose there/// I wanna lose there I wanna lose there I won’t stop till the end, no Gonna keep moving till I can (through the trees, through the trees) ///Wake up in nowhere So beautiful I wanna lose there/// I wanna lose there I wanna lose there

credits

released September 25, 2015

DOE PAORO: vocals
SEAN CAREY: drums, percussion, piano,
synths, vocals
BEN LESTER: synths, programming, pedal steel
BJ BURTON: guitar, synths
ADAM RHODES: piano, organ
JUSTIN VERNON: guitar, synths
MIKE LEWIS: bass, saxophone
ADAM HURLBURT: drum programming, bass
JOSH LEBLANC: flugelhorn, trumpet
NICK SANBORN: bass
MIKE NOYCE: vocals
AMELIA MEATH: backing vocals
ANDY HOFER: trombone
WILLIAM MUÑOZ-APONTE: trumpet
LAURA SEVERSON: viola
KAITY WITHERSPOON: cello
DAVY SUMNER: horn arrangements


Production: BJ BURTON + SEAN CAREY
Engineering & mixing: BJ BURTON
Mastering: HUNTLEY MILLER / HM Mastering Minneapolis MN
Recorded & mixed: April Base - Fall Creek WI
Additional production on Untethered:
MAX HERSHENOW
Additional production on Growth/Decay:
SEAN HUTCHINSON
Additional mixing on Untethered: CHRIS ZANE
Vocal Engineering on Walking Backwards and Nobody: SHANE HENDERSON


‡ Traveling/Walking Backwards written by
DOE PAORO + VIKTOR BÄLTER LUNDIN
‡‡ Nostalgia written by
DOE PAORO + PETER MORÉN
* Growth/Decay written by
DOE PAORO + STERLING FOX
** Hypotheticals written by
DOE PAORO + JUSTIN LONG
# Outlines written by DOE PAORO
## Untethered written by
DOE PAORO + MAX HERSHENOW
▲ Nobody written by DOE PAORO + ADAM RHODES
» Regret written by
DOE PAORO + TATIANA KOCHKAREVA
»» Wake Up in Nowhere written by
DOE PAORO + ALEX FREUND

‡Published by Sonia’s Publishing Party(ASCAP) & VIKTOR BÄLTER LUNDIN(STIM). ‡‡Published by Sonia’s Publishing Party(ASCAP) & Morén Pop AB. *Published by Sonia’s Publishing Party(ASCAP) & High Deaf Music/ BMG Chrysalis(ASCAP). **Published by Sonia’s Publishing Party(ASCAP) & BMG Rights Management.
#Published by Sonia’s Publishing Party(ASCAP).
##Published by Sonia’s Publishing Party(ASCAP) & BMG Rights Management.▲Published by Sonia’s Publishing Party(ASCAP) & Adam Rosenwach Music(BMI).»Published by Sonia’s Publishing Party(ASCAP) & Tatiana Kochkareva(ASCAP).»»Published by Sonia’s Publishing Party(ASCAP) & BMG Rights Management.


Photo: NEIL KRUG
Design: TREVOR HERNANDEZ
Logotype: KRISHNA FITZPATRICK



notes on AFTER
This record emerged from a very specific psychic space: feeling out of the past but not yet in the future, adrift in the space between two closed doors - and reckoning with the reality that what you are hoping for might not be coming.

Surrender to the beauty in that possibility.
Because we don’t know. It could be.


THANK YOU
BJ Burton, who made it happen - Sean Carey, who gave his many beautiful gifts and rooted the record in the natural world - Ben Lester, fountain of ideas, keeper of the vibe - Adam Rhodes, guiding light - Kyle Frenette, for a new beginning - Miranda Siegel, a wild yosh - Justin Vernon, who gave me a home to create - Jared Feldman, naming shaman - Anna, Greg, and our parents, unconditionally loving and supportive - Alice Cohen, godmother to humanity.

Yuri Hart, Sean Hutchinson, David Lizmi,
Robby Sinclair, Grant Zubritsky

Samten Dhondup, Gary He, Anjia Jalac, Thibault Debaveye, Jackie Nalpant, Dan Huiting, Susannah Edelbaum, Zac Maricondia, David Jacobs, Andy Kaulkin, Josh Sundquist, Alex Wright, Jake Oliver, Jake Bauman, Erin Wexstten, Max Rivera, Shara Worden, Barbara Kreitzer, Alan Sanders, Craig Michie, David Stamm, Marty Nolan, Kelly Crisp

Very grateful to the brilliant artists who played on this record and shared their inspiration.

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Doe Paoro Los Angeles, California

i'm with the trees


www.doepaoro.com

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